Work

Nobody knows who is writing this. That comes in handy. How many people live in the 612? 3.2 Million people. I have mentioned that I live in the general Uptown area, though I never signed a lease in that house; my profession does not allow me to sign my name much anymore. I can be traced to Minneapolis. I am one of 3.2 Million.

My alias, E.D.J., many would assume that those are my initials. If the assumption that my first name begins with an E, my middle name begins with a D, and my last name begins with a J we need to do some basic math. What is 1/26th to the power of three? Anyone? No? 26 x 26 x 26 = 17576. So if EDJ are my initials then approximately 1/17576th of Minneapolis residents share my initials, that's around 182 people. Maybe I'll be easier to track down than I thought. Maybe EDJ isn't my name.

The fact is, I take pride in my anonymity, and I want you to know that I do the math. I want you to know that I won't get caught. With that in mind, I want to tell you what Jen and I do for a living.

Have you ever gone onto Craigslist? Do it now. Now go to any city. Now look under "Erotic Services." http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/ers . I want you to look at the girls 20 and under. I want you to look at their pictures. Tell me, who calls these girls? The general demographic is middle-aged white men.

So here is a scam. You need a woman and a man. You post an ad, you tell your prospective clients about your desire to please an older man. You want to be spoiled, and you want a sugar daddy to spoil you. Give the men a disposable cell phone number. Only answer calls from unblocked numbers. Take ever call, and make these men want to cum inside of you right then and right there. Make them say they want to. Never negotiate price. Never negotiate "services," but tell him what you want to do to him. Set up a time and place to meet. Get off the phone. Get a subscription to a reverse phone book service; they are cheap these days. If the listing is for a couple you're in business, if the listing is for an individual call back and tell him that you're sorry but you'll be out of town.

Now you bring in your boyfriend. You need someone strong, and someone reliable. This is me. My job is to wait for your John in the hotel room you decided on. I sit down and play him the tape of you two sounding hot and heavy on the phone. You ask him to pay you $200 up front, and tell him that if he doesn't meet you in a week with an extra $600 you will call the Mrs. After that, you promise to burn the tapes. Nobody willing to spend the initial $200 on a whore will mind paying $800, and nobody in this situation is the type of person who wants to go to the police.

This isn't how we make money. This is immoral. This is what we used to do. This is what we did after Jen decided to stop whoring and before we started doing what we do. We have better ways of making money these days.

We split everything evenly. Safe Deposit Boxes of cash. Separate.